How can I not rethink about things if it’s affecting the most important matter to me -family, you? 👪👶🏻💗😮
A couple of years ago, when I heard the “whistle” (of opportunity) signaling me to start, I hurriedly leaped forward excitedly and purposefully to pursue the goal I always had in mind – to finally start the overdue/pending “journey” I was supposed to start years ago. That was residency training (also called “specialty training”). I was really pretty determined to pursue it that time. I had no other plans in mind.
However, as I trudge on, I have started to feel that the “busy-ness” and the occasional (?) craziness and chaos surrounding me (trainingwise) has started to take its toll on me. Most significantly, it has taken a lot of my “allotted” time for family and my little boy… These reasons are beginning to make me think again, tempting me to halt and turn to the opposite direction…↪️↩️ •
Yes, undeniably, I am at a certain crossroad. That is between the road that can give me more time with family (could be anywhere as long as with family) and the road that can give me the opportunity to polish my skills as a doctor, allow me to serve others more but will give me (so much) less time with family… that is while I am “on” training (and I still have a year or more to go before I finish it). Missing my family (thinking about my son-his health and safety) most of the time while on duty far from home has been making me feel more tired and sad.
As I analyze things, I can see a glimpse of my “goal” (the pot of happiness 🙂 ) at the end of both roads and that is an assurance, but the ‘distance’ to that goal is really different in each road. 😦
My previously so tightly locked hand to the present path has started to loosen… but is still holding on, for now…
Can my grip sustain me until I see the end of this kinda long and crooked road? In the meantime, I just hold on… not too tightly but still holding on… waiting for a trigger (very good reason) to let go… or a motivation to continue on. 🛣🤔😐😯
I have been praying for guidance and enlightenment in making the best decision because, obviously, my family is my happiness… 🙂 ❤️
Has anyone been to a similar situation/dilemma? 🤔