“on the sides”

One Sunday duty, not so long ago, I had one “sour” experience with a patient’s relative. I need not elaborate what really happened that Sunday because it seems pointless or unimportant to discuss in details. I am writing about it at the moment because it just saddened me and made me think… There are really people who are fast to judge and assume and we in the healthcare service (doctors and nurses as examples) are easy targets of negative “opinions”.

If they only know everything we have to go through, before, after and while “on duty”…

If they only know that it is with the heaviest heart that I go on duty on a Sunday.

I had to wake up in the very early wee hours of the morning to prepare for a 2-hour trip to the hospital. I had to play hide and seek with my son to be able to escape my way to the car. I had to bear hearing my dearest son cry his heart out everytime he realizes I am nowhere to be found again and left without bidding him bye.

If they only know that it is during Sundays that I experience eating lunch at eight in the evening and, hence, miss dinner because of “mile-long” pile of patients, mostly outpatients, in the ER table.

… that I have to utter words at a speed of 100 WPM (words per minute) to be able to attend to all the patients who (most) drop by the EMERGENCY room during Sundays after attending Sunday events because they have “no time” to bring their kids for consult on weekdays some with chief complaints of rash-less mosquito bite or months-long skin discoloration (particularly “an-an”).

…that when Sunday is gone and morning comes I still feel no complete relief because I still have to finish the 28 (or more) hours of duty before I can finally go home and take some rest.

If they only know that it hurts to know that most of us doctors and nurses are misunderstood and less appreciated and, based on our daily duties at the er and the opd, it is only at the rate 0.5/10 patients are those patients who say thank you every after consult.

If they only know that no matter how extremely tired we get, we get the very same compensation monthly  and a simple hint of appreciation from you is a remarkable consolation prize for us and it can truly make all that we do pounds lighter.

If they only know that although we look stern and strong most of the time, it is our tears that first drop whenever we have helpless cases and unwanted mortalities (deaths) both in the wards and at the ER.

If they only know these things, and other many things that happen in the “backstage” of our lives as a doctor, then maybe they will understand us more.

Please know that we care so much for our patients.

Please know that many of us doctors do not do what we do for the pay but for the love of the profession and the public service.

Whenever I experience something not so good involving a patient or a relative of a patient I feel sad. Sometimes very sad. When that happens, I just remind myself the reason I chose this profession…  I do this noble job to heal patients. I hope to make them feel happy in the process. Whatever happens on the “sides” I try my best not to be affected. I pray not to be affected. I pray to do better everyday. I pray to be better.

And, I pray for all of us to be more considerate no matter what we do.

Let us all aim more patience, very good health, unconditional love and true happiness too. 🙂