bitten (*a very late post-written last year, an almost forgotten post)

The history of my present musings started more than 2 weeks prior to this post…

A particular incident has been tempting me to feel really disappointed and saddened. I have been very good at preventing anything from affecting me, particularly those not family-related, until that day… but I have been persevering on.

However, after days of sleepless duties, arriving home late and having so so much less (and usually “rushed”) time to spend with my hubby, son and parents, the impact of the toxicity of my life, particularly work life, was starting to “bite” me. It partly succeeded in melting my remaining energy the other night that I cried. I felt really tired. I miss my family. I miss my very evasive resting time.

I have been actually used to being tired but in the past week something pushed my exhaustion button that I felt really drained. It was not a physical load that triggered it. It was something immaterial. That something (a happening) saddened me, at first little by little, until finally my tears bursted. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

That specifically was an occasion where I felt discriminated. It was not being (indirectly) disfavoured that disappointed and made me lonely. It was the unpleasant attitudes and manners of others that saddened me. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

After that very exhausting and depressing “emo” night, I actually felt better… yet still sad, still disappointed.

I hope these feelings will evaporate soon. I hope I will be even more used to the presence of the unavoidable ‘undesirables’and ‘unpredictables’ around.

In saddening times like that, what gives me comfort is the thought (my belief) that at the end of the day, what is right and just or fare will prevail… those who deserve most the bests in life will get ahold of many beautiful things…

I hope that the gift of optimism I inherited from my mother (yes, it is true โค )will defeat any negativities that come my way… towards my goal, my family’s goals. ๐Ÿ˜Œ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ


Update: “those” feelings have not yet completely evaporated, but I have become stronger, and in some ways (workwise), happier… ๐Ÿ™‚



How can I not rethink about things if it’s affecting the most important matter to me -family, you? ๐Ÿ‘ช๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ˜ฎ

A couple of years ago, when I heard the “whistle” (of opportunity) signaling me to start, I hurriedly leaped forward excitedly and purposefully to pursue the goal I always had in mind – to finally start the overdue/pending “journey” I was supposed to start years ago. That was residency training (also called “specialty training”). I was really pretty determined to pursue it that time. I had no other plans in mind.ย 

However, as I trudge on, I have started to feel that the “busy-ness” and the occasional (?) craziness and chaos surrounding me (trainingwise) has started to take its toll on me. Most significantly, it has taken a lot of my “allotted” time for family and my little boy… These reasons are beginning to make me think again, tempting me to halt and turn to the opposite direction…โ†ช๏ธโ†ฉ๏ธ โ€ข

Yes, undeniably, I am at a certain crossroad. That is between the road that can give me more time with family (could be anywhere as long as with family) and the road that can give me the opportunity to polish my skills as a doctor, allow me to serve others more but will give me (so much) less time with family… that is while I am “on” training (and I still have a year or more to go before I finish it). Missing my family (thinking about my son-his health and safety) most of the time while on duty far from home has been making me feel more tired and sad.ย 

As I analyze things, I can see a glimpse of my “goal” (the pot of happiness ๐Ÿ™‚ ) at the end of both roads and that is an assurance, but the ‘distance’ to that goal is really different in each road. ย ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

My previously so tightly locked hand to the present path has started to loosen… but is still holding on, for now…

Can my grip sustain me until I see the end of this kinda long and crooked road? In the meantime, I just hold on… not too tightly but still holding on… waiting for a trigger (very good reason) to let go… or a motivation to continue on. ๐Ÿ›ฃ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ฏ

I have been praying for guidance and enlightenment on making the best decision because, obviously, my family is my happiness… ๐Ÿ™‚ โค๏ธย 


Has anyone been to a similar situation/dilemma? ๐Ÿค”

A Story of Them (this is actually just a gist of their story)

Let me tell you a beautiful story of two beautiful people. The characters are my inspiration, their story has been my motivation.


 He was just an ordinary boy born to a not-so-ordinary family, or so called by others as the “better-off” one. He was third among 5 siblings. Mother was a teacher, father was a seafarer. Both parents were strict. They had farm and they were trained to do the tasks there, particularly the boys. Toto grew up mostly in the farm. He once lived with relatives near their farm for a long time. He learned manual labor (“panguma” and the like) from his early adolescent years onwards. Like his siblings, toto was sent to school and worked in the “fields” or was tending to their assigned “pets” (like carabaos, cows, goats, etc) during their free time. 

When Toto graduated from high school, he took a brief rest from school. His other brothers were still studying that time.  With the determination to pursue his schooling through self-support, Toto went to Manila to work as a janitor. When he already had enough savings, he enrolled in a college. He studied and worked as a janitor part-time. He was a very industrious employee. No negative comments will be heard from his boss’s mouth about him, only praises. Toto was indeed an amazing person. He was obedient to his parents, grandparents, and to his bosses. He was kind and hardworking too. However,he had an obsession. He could not live without his best buddy, the name is Beery. Yes, Toto always met with Beery during his “off” or rest days. “That” was his only vise. But they only “bonded” when he was not working. That was truly remarkable because he had self discipline work-wise. 

 Three years of patience and perseverance later, Toto made it to the list of graduating students in his college. With this very good news, he happily and at the same time nervously went to work that day. He was happy that he finally achieved his goal of finishing college but nervous because he had to finally inform his boss regarding what he just accomplished and his plan to pursue the job he wanted (and consequently resign from his work that time) without prior notice. He did exactly that. He informed his bosses for the first time that he had been studying while working and was finally graduating. This news brought surprise (and maybe shock?) to his employers. They had zero idea that toto was studying anything. His boss called him to the conference room when he learned about it. He obeyed respectfully. To his surprise, he was not the only person in the room. The rest of his bosses were in the room and waiting for him. Then the boss who called him introduced him and shared his story to the group. They honored him. They offered him a round of applause. He was surprised and was holding back tears but shyly thanked them. And what happened after that was a big surprise for him – he was offered a job related to his course. So he started from there and ventured to other companies thereafter. He took exams and fortunately passed them and became a licensed officer. At work, he concentrated and practiced diligence. His foreigner bosses became his close friends. He worked hard for more than three decades, 98% of these period was outside the country.


 Neneng was a very simple girl born to a very simple (“financially challenged”?) literally big family. Neneng was 7th among 12 siblings ( actual number was 13 inclusive of the neneng’s mother’s aborted pregnancy -if the information I got was accurate). Parents were both farmers. Her mother sold cooked fish (delicious “isdang paksiw”) “on the side” to the nearby (but not so near) barangays by just walking. Yes, her mother was one of the most industrious/hardworking persons you’d see in the barangay. No one could find her resting. She seemed to be working all the time. It was their father who was tending to her and her siblings most of the time when he was still around. When he was already gone due to an illness, it was their mother with  the help of their aunts and uncles who took care of them.

They were all sent to elementary school which was just a short walk away from their house except their youngest who was born with special needs. In her growing years, Neneng lived with her aunts’ families. She was assisting in houseworks as well because she was an industrious niece. These relatives were supportive to her and her siblings too.

Neneng was determined to strive hard and to continue schooling because she was hoping to go to college. However, Neneng had to take a rest from high school to give way to her other siblings. When she had the opportunity and the support, Neneng continued and finished high school in Manila. She lived alternately in her aunt’s and sisters’ houses while she was in Manila. Her other brothers and sisters did the same. Neneng was very close to her cousins. They were like brothers and sisters to her so it made things fun and easy for her. While she was in high school, her other sisters and brothers already finished college. When Neneng was ready for college, with the help of her aunts and her mother’s effort (selling farm products to be able to send her anything as additional support), she was able to enrol in a college. She took the course that was her second choice. They couldn’t afford her dream course so she pursued that course she enrolled for realizing later on that she loved it too. With unrelenting perseverance, she was able to graduate and work instantly after… 

Neneng never had any problem work-wise because she was very hardworking, dedicated and fun to work with. Her love for her family had been her motivation. She had many friends because of her sense of humor and congenial personality.


 One day, toto visited his uncle. At his uncle’s place, he got a glimpse of someone he had not seen for a long time. At first, he doubted whom he saw so he asked to confirm it. It was Neneng, her elementary classmate. After elementary days, they nevet had the chance to see each other. Toto had to transfer school to the nearby town, Neneng had to go to Manila after she took a rest from highschool. 

When given the opportunity, the two talked. It was as if there was instant attraction. It was as if Toto with his rascal friends did not playfully destroy her vegetable garden/plot during their elementary years. It was as if Toto did not see neneng fall down the “duhat” tree that was located in Toto’s farm. They instantly “clicked” during that reunion. Eventually courtship happened and subsequently they became a couple. 

A few years later, they got married. They were both 27. 


A year after their wedding, Neneng and Toto were blessed with a new member of the family, a baby boy.  They became Nanay and Tatay. How happy they were. Numerous challenges of marriage came and went. There were many blessings too. Two babies came, 4 and 3 years apart (respectively) thereafter. The kids grew. Nanay and Tatay made sure the children had the support to be able to finish school, and, yes they finished on time and “successfully”. Nanay and tatay were very thankful and happy. 


Years later, the family of Nanay and Tatay started to grow in number. They became young grannies, specifically called as Nana and Lolo. First came baby D, then more than a year later came baby J. Ten years after that baby T arrived then almost a year later came baby F. Lolo and Nana have been happier with funny and smart grandkids around. They both have been very generous grannies, but not the “spoiler” types. With regards to their growing family, they can truly say “the more, the merrier.”

As of this writing, my most favorite couple are living the simple life. 

Years flew by so swiftly. Their children grew fast, their grandkids are growing even faster. They retired from their jobs but they are still working… Yes, Toto and Neneng are “working” at home because they are not used to “not working” at all. What they do is the kind of “work” that is devoid of pressure. Neneng is busy with her piggies and gardens while Toto have been taking care his farm crops and “pets”. They miss their children all the time because everybody is working far from HOME. Everybody is just a call away but they still miss them and they always pray for them. How truly and incomparably great parents Toto and Neneng are. 

What  these two special people may not know is that their children miss them so much too… more than they may assume. Their grownup children are immensely thankful for all the support and the sacrifices their super loving and generous parents made for the three of them. They feel that they have been the most blessed, the luckiest and the proudest children for having Toto and Neneng as their parents. They have been praying for them everyday. Their parents have always been their inspiration and motivation in doing great in everything they do and in achieving their goals and wishes in life. 

 These days, each of the member of Toto and Neneng’s Family can not help but miss each other because they have not been together for a while. Regardless of this, the LOVE they have for each other has grown stronger because indeed it is true that absence makes the heart grow fonder especially between very close (“tight”) family members. The determination by Toto and Neneng’s Kids to make the Loving Parents happy has intensified. There will be no such thing as “enough” when it comes to giving back because what these two have been able to share and sacrifice for their children and the family until now is beyond measure. All their kids can do is strive hard to be great in whatever they do and be kind-hearted persons everyday as what their parents prayed for them to be.

By their example and influence, unconditional love and generosity to each other have been the unspoken “promise” of Toto and Neneng’s family. Faith has been kept strengthened because it has been their source of every beautiful blessing. 

Truly, these two are wonderful.

Their story is the kind of story I want to share with my kids one day. I love the characters dearly! I am and will be forever in awe of their story! โคโคโค๏ธ 

——————————————————–Writing this short story is my tribute to my favorite couple… my parents!โค 

 This peek to their joint biography is making my heart flutter with love and simple but pure joy. This has inspired me to the core. I am so blessed to be a part of the family. โค 

This is my way of celebrating my parents (unconditional) love for each other that has reached 4 decades now. This is my way of expressing my overwhelming gratefulness for their love for me and my brothers and for everything that they have done for us. This is my way of assuring them of my prayer-strengthened PROMISE to them (no mention needed). This is my way of saying I LOVE THEM SO VERY MUCH. 

 So a tear is starting to fall… How I miss them dearly, especially during this special day. I always celebrate their wedding day regardless of where I am, what I do or how busy I am because this day marks the beginning of our family (and I am always so sentimental about that ๐Ÿ˜Œ๐Ÿ˜).

Freedom from difficult tests/challenges cannot be guaranteed with length of time of togetherness.  They still come even after decades of marriage. I believe that the strongest Faith, the most unconditional Love and the unwavering Perseverance will make the marriage / family bond truly and beautifully strong. 




ย A Dream Goal or just A Wish? (An update on my previous post: the road taken)

In the world of Medicine (here in the Philippines in particular), the past 2-3 months can be considered the glorious/celebration season. This is because it is during these months that clerkships and internships end and graduations happen. Also, for many others, now is the ย “enjoy while you can” season, the time when they prapare (apprehensively?) for the first day of classes in their chosen medical institution. The preparation period can be both exciting and frightening… well, it depends on how you “condition” yourself. I can still vividly remember the feeling…

Around two years ago, I wrote about this topic because a daughter of someone I know (among many curious ones) asked me about Medicine because she wanted to pursue it. Today, I am writing again because hours ago I learned that that someone’s daughter has just enjoyed her first day as a medical student. Although the financial aspect of this field is obviously not an issue in their family, it took years before that daughter finally enrol. I assumed they prepared well.ย 

How does one prepare for Medical School? As implicated in my previous post, there is no concrete formula. You (by that I mean the whole family) just have to plan and prepare really well… in every important aspect. Yes, that should be done because to be a doctor is not just a simple goal. It is a dream, a very special goal for the most deserving one. Remember, a goal without a plan or a preparation is just a wish. (You may browse and read my previous post: The road taken.

For those with limited financial resources, what can be done to prepare well? A good news was announced weeks ago: Free tuition is being offered to 8 State Universities in the country. These are the University of Northern Philippines, Mariano Marcos State University, Cagayan State University, Bicol University, West Visayas State University, University of the Philippines Manila School of Health Sciences in Leyte, Mindanao State University and University of the Philippines-Manila.ย 

Of course, this privilege does not come easy. An aspiring medical student need to pass the admission requirements of the program and the specific state university. This will include NMAT score (like in UP, it is a common knowledge during our time that they’re strict -and specific?- with the NMAT score requirement. The WVSU is similarly strict too) among many requirements. This is quite an assistance for every doctor-to-be. However, fees beyond the tuition is not included in the program. (Again, estimates were stated in the previous related blog.) This should be put into consideratoon too.

Again, to be a Doctor is not just an ambition – it is a calling. The one who is the most deserving will become one. ๐Ÿ™‚

Decide well. Prepare more. Do your best. Pray for guidance too. ๐Ÿ™‚


Below are updates on tuition fees (as of SY 2015): *taken from

From Kim (2nd Year Medical Student): University of East Ramon Magsaysay: Tuition fee is not 85K++ but Php 125,000-135,000.
From Thomas: University of Santo Thomas
UST Tuition

123k/semester for 1st year

121k/semester for 2nd year

120k/semester for 3rd year

200k/school year for 4th year
From Kathleen: Cebu Doctorโ€™s University, itโ€™s around 60,000-70,000.
From Noel: Angeles University MacArthur Highway, Angeles City, Tuition fee is around Php 90,000++
From Erick James: Pamantasan ng Lungsod ng Maynila
1st year โ€“ 3rd year: 75,000++
4th year: 140,000++
ย From Miel: Ateneo School of Medicine: 127,000-132,000 ++
From Beth: Davao Medical School Foundation: 97,000++
From Jasmine: Cebu Institute of Medicine: 100,000++


Our Day

I woke up with a happy heart today…ย 

This is the day I always looked forward to celebrate years ago… Mother’s day!ย 

Yey! This is already my second year to celebrate this special day and, just like the first, I am filled with inexplicable happiness. I feel so invincible. I feel that nothing and nobody can make me unhappy today. ย Thank you po God!ย 

One reason I am grateful and happy today is because, again, I am reminded of how blessed we three are because of our mother, our super nanay…
She is my epitome of unconditional love and positivity. She is the reason I do not give up amidst struggles. She is the reason I always find a reason to laugh amidst difficulties. She is the reason I aim to be the best wife and mother since I became both. She is the reason I pray to be more generous and kind to everybody, related and not. It is because she is the best!ย Her optimism is very contagious and she has made a lot of people happy. ๐Ÿ™‚


“Nanay, you have planted positive seeds of love, faith, perseverance, humility and joy in our hearts. You are more than deserving to reap all the positive fruits of what you planted. Thank you for being my inspiration. You are immensely loved! Happy Mother’s day to us! โค๏ธ ”

Happy Mother’s day to all mothers too!๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜‡๐Ÿ˜

Interests Add On :)

Hi everybody!

You may be interested to join the club. I heard and have learned a lot of beautiful things about this…

I believe you will be happier, stronger in faith, become more positive and be wiser -money wise when you join. ๐Ÿ˜‰ ๐Ÿ˜€

Click the link below if interested:



Stay happy and positive! ๐Ÿ˜€



Dear Aireen Joy,

New things will spring forth for you this year. Are you ready?

 Be excited,


P.S. Aireen Joy, Iโ€™ve heard all your prayers and Iโ€™m sending the answers.


Happy New Year to all!

This is my first post of the year and I am truly excited. Thank you to my BestFriend “up there” for the message above that is really so motivating and is fueling my desire to achieve all the happy, great and positive things I aim and pray for this year. I am also sending my grateful nod to the person through whom the message above was sent and who I consider my newest “mentor”. ๐Ÿ™‚

For this year, I intend…

To maintain what is already good, productive and positive in my life.

To change what is not so good, ineffective and nonfulfilling – all for the better.

To avoid what is destructive, depressive and negative – things or people. If unavoidable, try not to be affected in a negative way.

To save more, to save a lot… financially. By doing this, it is not the “material” things and outcome that will make me the happiest. What will give me the greatest contentment is the happiness it will give the persons I will be sharing my blessings with.

***Our (with tatay&5th) newly started 52-week-challenges* (yes, challenges – ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ) will be under this intention. ***

To be brave in facing new endeavors, tasks and every bumps and curves of my journey this year.

To persevere amidst the test to give in to overwhelming circumstances and to firmly stick to the “reasons” I persevere.

To aspire for the best, to aim “sky high” because what I always believe is true: “Do your BEST, and God (My BestFriend) will help you do the rest.”

Again, a prosperous and love-filled, faith-powered 2017 everyone!

๐Ÿ™‚ โค